Start a new relationship after breaking the old?

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A situation where we are parting with loved ones against their will – or we quit or we are forced to leave, which is essentially the same thing – an extremely painful for the ego.

We have given so much to this relationship and, of course, we feel traumatized, deceived, used, betrayed.

Our self-esteem is suffering, self-esteem is virtually zero, we go to panic thinking of the “what if in my life and never will be such?” You can learn more on From the very thought is already possible to fall into a deep depression. We have been samoedstvom, soul-searching, self-flagellation, and replayed endlessly losing the last situation, looking for reasons, etc.

So it is with men and women – in situations of trauma we are all absolutely identical.

Inside the vacuum – in fact there for a long time it was occupied by one person. Not only is the emptiness inside, the emptiness and the outside – violated habits of communication, disappeared the opportunity to share with a loved one – formed a kind of space, screaming about the filling.

Instinct tells us that live in this state for a long time is impossible. We unconsciously seek to grasp any straw to us easier. And the first advice that we receive (and the first thing that comes to our mind) – is a “knock out fight fire.” Urgent to find a new love, which we hope will be finally happy. Not because she needs us now, this new love, but because they need to survive – it will help to get out of depression and help you forget the wrongs inflicted on us.

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Initial state after the break – a state of panic. Crumbling familiar to you the world, a familiar system of coordinates, and the new is not built. And in this state, we begin to make frantic gestures to find a new “wedge” to vyshibaniya old. We rush to the “first comer” to urgently improve self-esteem, often intuitively choosing someone who is ready and willing to fall in love, plus listen, help, support.

What happens next? Well, yes, “like cures” involves both a mutual feeling. Maybe if it was in this situation of emotional trauma and depression?

No, impossible. Because we draw for a “tail” of past emotional experiences, which are still very sharp and painful for us. Both men and women who recently survived a painful gap, often over again there are “candidates” in a few minutes they started telling about his “personal tragedy” – can not talk about anything else. They are psychologically still “together” with their “former” and talking about it, subconsciously trying to “extend” relationship.

So you have decided to start a relationship with someone who you do not particularly like something, and because it is simply in need of support. What do you give such temporary unilateral relationship? Improve your self-esteem? It should be catastrophically low self-esteem, just to the fact that we have someone like us, raised us in our own eyes. If so – then this is a serious case of the injured psyche.

If you enter a “relationship” with the person to whom you are indifferent and continue them for a while, sooner or later, you emerge in irritation – especially at yourself, because you realize that you are using another person and contacted him on reasons unrelated to love. There will be a domestic imbalance and frustration starts to pour on it the other – even though he is not guilty, that you do not love him. You will begin to cling to, to find fault, angry, rude, rude and humiliating his partner, causing him to ensure that he left himself.

And what about the “wedge” for the sake of which everything was started? Nothing – the wedge, which you hammered if he krupnenky, and remains driven into. Even stronger will, no matter how sad. Indeed, in comparison with the present, not loved you a partner, past will seem a hundred times better just because you felt him feeling.

It turns out that in this period can not make frantic gestures to find “their own half.” All that you can not do now, would be a mistake. You make a mistake in choosing a man, you make a mistake in the way of building relationships with them. And if you do not fall in love (and you do not fall in love, because your heart is not free) – then you’ll just use a person who loves, is open and therefore particularly vulnerable. Moreover, you can start to hate him for all the evil that causes him herself. But the main thing – that you will be tricked into another break and destroy itself.

Because of the nature of work very clearly “the principle of a boomerang.” Rewarded for such like. Not once, not now, not tomorrow, but your actions come back to you a hundredfold, and will strike at the very patient. Sooner or later there is absolutely mirrored the situation. You betrayed – betrayed thee. You are deceived – deceived thee. Fate is always “otzerkalivaet” our actions. The day will come, and you fall in love again, and you will be using as you use someone else once.

Should I lay under him, and this mine to tempt fate? Rather, the very start, “a boomerang”? Do not try to survive at the expense of others – you most have all the necessary resources to cope with the situation!

It is said that a holy place is never empty. But the place must be really empty. While not broken the old emotional connection, the new will arise.